What Happened to the Beautiful Struggler?
As some of you may know, my online writing life began with a site called The Beautiful Struggler, which I maintained under the pseudonym “Sister Toldja”. Thoughout my time with other publications, I maintained the Struggler (though I did start posting less frequently as writing went from a hobby, to a side hustle and later a career).
When I became the Digital News & Lifestyle Editor for EBONY, finding time to update the site seemed even more of a challenge. However, I kept the Struggler alive with the intention of coming back when the moment was right. Unfortunately, on two occasions, a hacker has used my site to attack my host’s server with malware. So not only was the Stuggler taken down, other sites were as well.
My site was designed by Lidia Anain, a kind sister who did the project for free when I was not in a position to pay for much else but the domain name because she believed in the work I was doing. So while it hurts me personally to see that nearly 7 years of hard work is now offline, it hurts more to know that this kind spirit has been inconvienced so greatly (as have her other clients). And it’s infuriating to know that it seems this attack was personal, not random. Thus, the domain name www.thebeautifulstruggler.com will point to my Facebook fan page or this tumblr until further notice. I have yet to decide what will become of the original site but I will have a site all my own again—trust me.
To the person who did this (and I have a strong suspcion as to who it may be), I really wish that attacking Lidia’s hard work and mine would make you beautiful, important and loved…but it won’t. You are and will continue to be nothing but a small stain upon humanity. Despite your best efforts you don’t matter. What a terrible feeling that must be. I can’t imagine it because, well, I do. Perhaps you will someday find a more constructive way to make your time on this planet valuable. Because right now, you are but a waste. How dreadful.
To Lidia: thank you so, SO much for your sisterliness and your talent. I am so sorry that you were impacted by this, but your work and gifts will continue to bless you over and over and over again.
To the Struggler’s readers: I’m starting my regular Tumbling today (for real)! And I thank those of you who supported me for years. My career is so much a reflection of that support. If you haven’t checked out EBONY.com…please do! If you liked what I was doing before, trust and believe there is something for you there.
I’m out…but not,
Jamilah “Don’t Call Me Toldja No More” Lemieux